A Peanuts Prospectus: Snoopy’s short reign as the Head Beagle
Over the years as numerous elections and campaigns have come and gone, it wasn’t that uncommon to see some figures in popular culture, try to ‘get in on the fun,’ and attempt to become the next Commander-in-Chief.
In the 1970’s, The Walt Disney Company had a little fun with citing Winnie the Pooh for a presidential candidate. In the 1990’s, the Brain from Pinky and the Brain, showed up on a campaign to “Put a Brain in the White House” (never mind his straight-forward intentions to enslave mankind and take over the world!).
When it came to the Peanuts Gang, the front-runners for President were usually Snoopy, Lucy Van Pelt, and Charlie Brown.
Of course, most voters often go straight for Snoopy: he’s a dog, he’s cute, and he has a vivid imagination. However, when it comes to his ‘political track record,’ few seem to remember his brief stint as the Head Beagle, back in 1970.
Fortunately, that’s what this Peanuts Prospectus is all about: to let you know the truth, so that you may know what to expect the next time you see a Snoopy for President slogan.
In the Peanuts comic strips, the Head Beagle is the unseen ‘ruler’ of all dogs (though we never do find out why the position is not all-encompassing of all dog breeds). In the fall of 1969, he was officially introduced by name, when Frieda threatened to report Snoopy to him, for not going with her to chase rabbits.
Not wanting to get in trouble with his superior, Snoopy went with Frieda, but upon letting a rabbit get away, she angrily reported him, and he was soon summoned to appear before the Head Beagle.
Snoopy headed off to his appointment (clad in black), and returned in a daze, a few days later (“This is the way you always look when you return from having appeared before the Head Beagle!” he claimed).
Though Frieda’s letter did result in him being reprimanded, Snoopy mentions (in his thought balloons) that the Head Beagle was very understanding (so it wasn’t as horrible an experience as many would assume).
The subject of the Head Beagle followed Snoopy into the early months of the 1970’s.
On January 4th, 1970, Snoopy received a yearly report sheet, which all dogs must fill out for the Head Beagle. The strip was obviously making fun of the irritation of having to fill out income tax forms, and it’s fun to see Snoopy getting snippy about some of the questions he is required to answer.
Snoopy snidely finished filling out the forms and sent it away, but remarked that though he hates filling out the yearly report, there was always the possibility that he could become Head Beagle one day, if he played his cards right.
The next day, Snoopy received another summons from the Head Beagle. This led to an assignment to stand guard over the playground adjoining the school where Charlie Brown and Linus went. However, after a few days, Snoopy was chased off the school grounds, but angrily cited that this did not mean the school principal outranked the Head Beagle.
And then, on February 16, 1970, it happened: Snoopy received a letter, that claimed he had been chosen as the new Head Beagle!
Of course, the day after the news hits, some assume the worst (take Lucy, for example).
This was followed shortly afterwards by a televised inauguration. It must have been a dogs-only event, as Charlie Brown is seen watching it with Linus and Lucy, from his living room. Though Linus has kind words for Charlie Brown’s dog, Lucy just frowns.
“He’ll probably get impeached,” she murmurs.
February 19th, was Snoopy’s first active day in his new role. Right from the start, Snoopy soon finds that being Head Beagle, is anything-but-easy.
His job seems to entail the placement of dogs in areas where they are needed, as well as hearing out a number of cases. Of course, his appointed secretary is also a little inept.
As February turned to March, Lucy voiced her displeasure at the way the world was going (see right), and Linus inquired to Snoopy about pollution, claiming that the Head Beagle was supposed to do something about it. Frieda even demanded to see the Head Beagle at one point, but was met with an angry stare from his secretary.
March 5th was the day things finally came to a head. Working deep into the night, irritated that noone seemed to appreciate his hard work, Snoopy finally admitted to himself that he had had enough.
The next day, brought word that the Head Beagle had disappeared, when his secretary arrived for work, only to find noone atop the dog house!
Most of the kids in the neighborhood wonder where Snoopy could have gone, but Charlie Brown has an idea.
Calling up Peppermint Patty, his hunch proved correct. Finally tiring of his duties, Snoopy had gone awol, and was hiding out at her place.
Once the weekend was over, Charlie Brown dropped by Patty’s place on March 9th, with a letter for Snoopy. Upon opening it, the writing was on the wall: Snoopy had been replaced as Head Beagle, for abandoning his post.
The end of Snoopy’s career as the Head Beagle, also meant his appointed secretary was out of a job. However, a few days later, Snoopy found the little bird hard at work, writing a book: “I Was Secretary For The Head Beagle.”
Naturally, Snoopy was upset that he was being included in a tell-all book. However, the situation became a bit less upsetting, when his secretary attempted to send off his manuscript. Due to a tree and a strong wind, the pages of the tell-all book were never published.
Even though he abandoned his post, the fact that Snoopy had been the Head Beagle at one time, was enough to get him invited back to the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm, as a guest speaker. Word was there were some young dogs who wanted to meet someone who had come from the puppy farm, and gone on to such a distinguished position.
Of course, Snoopy’s speaking engagement didn’t go over so well, but that’s a story for another time.
Naturally, we are left to wonder what the former secretary to the Head Beagle might have mentioned in his tell-all book, but hopefully, this article will make you think a bit, the next time you see Snoopy’s name appear on a ballot for an election. After all, if he couldn’t handle being the Head Beagle, how well do you think he could handle being President of the United States?